Can I love two at the same time? This question causes the desire to answer “no”. And this desire is understandable: there are many sad examples immediately before my eyes, when in the life of a married couple, someone is invisibly present, one who loves one of the spouses, but does not refuse to love his soul mate either. Perhaps these are sincere feelings at once for two, or the lack of true love for both.
Love triangle – the center of many novels and films. The reader or viewer is worried about the plot where the hero tries to love two, rushes in his feelings. But psychologists believe that unconsciously each of us is afraid of the opportunity to love two at the same time. A person needs stability and trusting relationships.
What are men and women seek in such a relationship? What is hidden behind their desire or, possibly, the need to love two? Modern feelings have many shades, they no longer fit into the framework of classical morality. A person by his nature strives for monogamy in relations and this desire reflects the desire to revive the primary connection with the mother, her boundless love. In adulthood, we expect from the companion of the same love and a sense of security. But these relationships often do not reach the ideal of maternal love and there is a desire to love two, as a way that helps to avoid the projection of relations with the mother on a partner.
The second reason for a person’s awareness that you can love two is a merger in a person of two principles – bodily and sensual. It happens that to meet the bodily needs for sexual proximity, a person finds with one partner, and the queries of the soul, sensual sphere are realized with another.
And finally, the third reason for the bifurcation of love, psychologists consider the paradoxical phenomena of fear of love. Some, fearing to fall in love and surrender to this feeling, are looking for a parallel to the second partner. This helps to keep the proper distance in the relationship.
It is usually believed that polygamy in relations is the prerogative of the strong half of humanity. But often women also turn to the elements of feelings for psychologists. When meeting with a psychologist or on the Internet, you can go through free tests for girls and women and, possibly, set up dots over “I” in the matter of your tendency to bifurcate love or in other important and exciting issues of relations.